The more frequent you fly, the shorter those trips on the plane seem to be. I used to enjoy reading a book, watching a movie, playing on my phone, or writing. I don’t do that as often as I used to anymore, I spend a lot of that time looking through that small window at the world. I stare at the sun following those clouds of dreams, it seems like it’s trying to catch the moon at its full image, am sure it has its reasons to do so. I look at our universe, it all seems insignificant from up here. The perspective from which you see the world changes. It’s as if you’ve just grown up fifty years, acquiring the wisdom of that time to see things from the bigger picture. Suddenly it hits my mind, no matter what you do in life, you will be presented with complications. If there is no escaping that why not face those difficulties for the things you want and desire.
I close my eyes for a moment, or so it seems, I am going back home, but I doze off into a little dream. I am in love. What a glorious emotion. I am standing in the middle of “Plaça de Catalunya”; Catalonia square is the heart of Barcelona. But I don’t see a lover with me, only me and my luggage. Oh God not another dream turning into a nightmare. It’s ok I have come to enjoy my dreams despite the darkness, just live the moment, making sure I create a magnificent memory of it, a memory that shall last a life time. Maybe she is waiting for me in the hotel room? I better hurry and go; I wouldn’t want to keep her waiting.
I walk through the narrow streets, the Gothic part of the city is breathtaking; the little cafes, the churches, the traditional restaurants. Filled with history and memories, but they are not my memories. I continue to walk, that’s my hotel. I check in, rushing, running up the stairs, I place my bag on the side and I look around, she is not here. Well I know I should be disappointed. I am not but a little, I know I will find her she must be around here somewhere. There is a large big window through which I see the sun shining on me, it’s a sign I say, that very same sun I saw earlier from the sky. It must be shining its light upon my path. I better not waste any more time.
“La Rambla”, she must have gone there to have a coffee. She will be waiting for me in patience. I can’t make her wait any longer. I look for her in the bottom of every cup of coffee, but no coffee looks sweet enough to hold her for me. There are artists nearby painting; one in particular is perfecting the image of a bowl of strawberries. She loves those strawberries. She must have been here, and I must have missed her by moments. A glimpse of hope inspires my soul. I continue to walk. Never give up, I tell myself, you will find her somewhere. The world is at your feet, and it’s smaller than most people think.
God send me a sign, my legs are not walking with ease. Who’s that man standing at the top of that monument with palm trees surrounding him? I ask the first person to walk past me. “Excuse me senior”, I don’t speak Spanish. I point my finger not far from the sun, at that delightful sculpture. He replies in Spanish. I have no clue what he said. But Christopher Columbus sounds the same in any spoken language. Monument a Colom; here is my sign. The explorer is standing proudly, the adventurous man stands beside me. What a madman, exploring the world without a clue to what he may find next, but what he finds is greater than what we could have ever anticipated, “The new world”. Isn’t that what i seek to find too, or possibly create?. I still don't see her around, what did I come here for? Excuse me sir, did you see her? A beautiful queen, smarter, prettier, more elegant than any woman you may have seen in your adventures, astonishing beyond the seas of your travels. No moon you have witnessed compares to mine, no desert you have crossed holds her pride. No excitement you have felt compares to my excitement standing by her side. He replies in silence yet his arm is pointing towards the marina. I smile, maybe she’s waiting there, after all it’s almost sunset. She loves the sunset just as much as I do. I better walk faster, I don't want to miss the moment.
I sit at the bench facing the ocean, with no sight of her, but another sign. A young boy and girl sit few meters away from me, he holds her in his arms, and kisses her passionately, she lays her head on his chest. I can feel it, he loves her. She feels safe, to her the world starts and ends on that very moment, or so it feels. I take my camera out, try my best not to disturb them. I want to capture the moment. I smile. Today I watch the sunset alone. But tomorrow I will not, I know it. I walk back to the hotel.
I have a ticket to watch the great Guitarist, Manuel Gonzales, playing at the historic church, Basilica Santa Maria del pi. We both love the guitar. She will be there, dressed so elegantly, I better shave, wear my best outfit, and look presentable for her. I sit to watch him play his instrument. The seat next to me remains empty through out the concert. She must have an excuse not to be here. I will not lose faith. The sign is here. Tonight she is that guitar, and I play her like the strings between my finger tips so passionately as I breath heavily. Every curve on the guitar is a sign of every curve on her body. Oh God help me, I need your signs to continue to guide me before I lose it all, I can live without my mind, but without my heart I am no more than the devil in disguise.
I will call it a day, I sleep. She comes wearing her summer dress, its white like a pure peaceful pigeon. She whispers in my ears, I am sorry I am trying but I can’t. I smile. I will find a way, a path, destiny is created by men not cowards.
I wake up from that dream within the dream. I climb up the mountain, searching for her, for a sign, for anything. It takes me two hours to walk up that mountain, not a soul in sight, am nothing but a stranger in this town, yet I feel home, the signs guide me. I got to watch the sun rise on the world, with hope, with another attempt to chase those clouds. The sun is no better than me. It does it 365 days a year. I have a stronger soul, and my patience shall not be defeated by the soul of an object. I see the beach from that mountain, approximately five miles away. When I saw her last night she was wearing a summery dress, I am guessing she must be sitting by the beach, sipping her cocktail. I better start walking. The streets are getting busier. My patience is unaffected. My faith grows stronger with every failure.
I walk along the beach for hours, I see nothing but sand washed off by the water. It’s like the pages I write on, so clear and smooth. All I need is a pen. My fingers are stronger than any pen, my blood is thicker than any ink. I run them through the sands to write her name, leaving her a sign that I was here, she will see it, I know it. Maybe she won’t find me, but at least she knows am still trying, searching and fighting.
It’s almost night time, the Flamenco show is starting soon. I am so excited to see her in that dance. The Tanned curved body of a queen, complexity beyond thoughts, so sexy in elegance. She taps on that wooden floor with her heels. With every strike to the ground, I feel the equivalent strike in my heart. She taps in a way telling the world of her pride, talent, and tender heart. I stare, with every move the dancer takes, my dreams become stronger, I become more certain that she must have been here, she must have inspired that dancer to be a lady. She must have had her touch on every corner of this hall.
I feel her tapping on my shoulder, have you forgotten about me during your adventure she asks? ... I open my eyes, it’s the air hostess, “Excuse me sir, we have landed”. I reply, in confusion, not sure where I am anymore, “Thank you”. I smile. What a beautiful moment lived wildly in my mind. Moments come true, for we make them what they are. Only strong men have the courage to dream, and only stronger men have the courage to make those dream come true.
Although the dream was over for now, although it was a dream, I still felt the obligation to reply:
Forgotten about you !!! How could I? When you walk every inch of this world ... not by my side, not in a memory, nor along a fantasy that I create through my eyes. But you walk every inch of it as I hold you deeply within every corner in my heart ...
Barcelona/Newcastle - 20/03/2012