Deprived

Who out there hasn’t sipped from the cup of deprivation?

Says who that our needs in life are contained between food, water and air?

With the lack of faith and vision, one is nothing but a lost soul without any purpose for existence. Bouncing like a ball between four walls, getting smacked with two rackets in a game of squash. Bouncing back every time to meet the inevitable ending of hitting just another wall yet again.

Have you ever been deprived from the one you love?

When you say nothing at all …

 I have loved this song for years, since the first day I’ve heard it by Ronan Keating. At the time, I was a fourteen year old boy. I remember as if it was yesterday. My father bought me an open membership to the cinema, allowing me to watch as many movies as I wish. I loved the movie theater more than anything else at that age. At times I would go at twelve o’clock in the afternoon as they opened their doors to the gates of wonder, and left at nine in the evening just in time to catch the last bus back home. I still remember clearly how I used to push myself up, applying my body’s pressure on my toes; so that the ticket conductor at the cinema would think am older than my age. When he/she asked of my year of birth, I always lied adding two years to my birth certificate, praying in my heart that they would believe me and grant me approval to watch the (Fifteen) rated movies.

Let me tell you about her …

Where do I start ? and where do I end?

She is beyond imagination, and above all expectations. She is a woman that I engraved in my heart and preserved her beauty deep within my two eyes.

She is imperfect, yet she perfected every imperfection.. I was no more than a broken jigsaw awaiting the missing pieces to complete me … to fit like gloves over hands, so smoothly.

She has a voice calmer than music to my ears, when she spoke; I felt the clock arms stop. She spoke as if she whispered, yet her whispers echoed through my soul like the fireworks on a New Year’s eve.

Money

Earlier this week I left my house at noon. I got to the town centre, walked into a shop and picked a light pink smart shirt that I liked. As I placed my hands into my back pocket to grab my wallet I realised that I had forgotten it at home. I placed that shirt back and left, a little angry at myself for forgetting something so important. I checked my side pockets and found spare change. I counted the coins only to find that I possessed £4.78 sterling British pounds, hardly enough for coffee and a sandwich. I had to meet my friends for our coffee in five minutes leaving me no time to go back home to get my wallet. I told myself “Fine, you made a mistake, pay for the consequences”, but then another thought hit my mind “Wouldn’t it be interesting to see if I can go through my entire Saturday with just that amount of money?” and so I did.

Ten seconds of courage

The truth about men is that their complexity lies in their unreasonable simplicity. They are no different to the female in many aspects. They have needs and they seek for them to be met. I never understood the statements made by many people of wanting to be independent in life. Those living in their denial can only go so far. Eventually they will have to face the truth, and very often they face their limbo in a place between four walls as they see that pillow not far from their sight whilst they confront their loneliness. At times they will succeed to deceive themselves, other times they will run out of lies feeling deep emptiness and pain. But it’s ok, for as soon as they wake up, they start the process of self deception all over again. The cycle will take hours, days, months or even years, eventually it will restart. The truth; such a subjective concept, being honest with yourself is a frightening thought to the average individual.

A price to pay ...

As I was finishing my undergraduate studies in the city of London a few years ago, I sat with him over a coffee. Back then I had them white and with sugar. He was doing his PhD, a very smart man. He was talking to me about love. I listened with a respectful grin on my face. Back then love between a man and a woman in my narrow view was no more than a physical attraction backed with respect and common future goals, such a scientific way of looking at it. I have come a long way from that plain understanding.  People don’t change; it’s their understanding of how they see the world that does. After all if we are not continuously developing, it’s either because we’re dead, or we are ignorant beyond limits.

The Outcast

I have been hearing their names for years, but not until a year ago did I start reading about them. I was amazed by their spirits. Those two men are more than fighters for social rights; they are an example of dignity and integrity. They are an example that can and must be applied on generations to come. The devoted Baptist leader of the African-American civil rights movement Martin Luther King Jr. has confirmed to me that having a dream is not an insane ideology, but the truth be told, you’re insane not to have a dream. On the other hand Malcolm X's life has managed to grab my imagination. I close my eyes and dream of myself in his shoes, the pride he must have held at the moment of his assassination, the price for choosing the right path. What a striking thought!