The sacrifice

As I arrived to my Arabian bride, the city seemed to welcome me with nothing but love, with much for me to look forward to. One could start to notice the differences between the eastern and western life styles almost instantly, even though many chose to be irritated by the differences, I came to enjoy and appreciate each in its own unique colors. Of course my observations and positive criticisms are a different unrelated issue at this point.

It’s a usual scene in this part of the world to see most families are privileged with the support of a driver or a maid. As I got picked up from the airport by the driver and my mother, I was told that the new driver is married to the new maid. This is not a story that I am to tell of myself, but somewhat a story of “Abdu” & “Miriam”. I knew at the point when this news arrived to my ears that I would be fascinated at the shores of the idea, the idea of observing the couple. I was seeking the lesson I have to learn from them with passion. They are an Indonesian partners, in their thirties, like most of us they are seeking a clean living, to make an honest future for those they love, to prosper in their life’s in a prideful manner.

Miriam works through the day at home, as soon as she lays down the table with her deliciously hand made food, we sat and gathered at that rectangle wooden, ten seated dining table. I see her rush every day to take out the food she has prepared for herself and Abdu, to go and eat in that little room they consider home, they have situated outside of our house. As she walks out the main door, I can see her excitement to join her husband on that carpeted floor. Even more I witnessed that very same excitement every time she left to join him for the rest of the evening at the end of her working day. I observed the way she smiles at him, and the way he smiled at her.

Miriam told me that she has “Zain Al-Abdean”, a thirteen year old teenager, and “Nadia” her seven tear old princess back in Indonesia, yet she is excited that she is pregnant in her second month of labor. I saw how thankful she was, how proud and happy she is. I started to compare them to those many disconnected couples I see in those fancy restaurants and cafes in the heart of the city, with an increasing divorce rate all around. At this point I started to question what is their secret?

My observations were as noisy as I can get, but my lesson was their sacrifice, I envied Abdu on many levels. The way his lady was willing to fight for him through her every action. The way his wife had no limits to her giving. The way she took pleasure and pride in what she did. The way they were luckier than many in the society they live in, yet they probably didn’t know this. But I was most envious of how they were smiling every time I saw them at all of those who surrounded them. Knowing that many of those I know held misery behind their closed fancy doors and highly built walls that eventually became prisons.

Love may be unjustifiable, illogical and irrational. Love is neither an emotion nor an act. But rather a beautiful phenomena that can be measured. Measured through the sacrifice made for one another, with no expectation of return. Once we love we give, with no pride for one another. For rather than seeing it as one person is giving to another, its one giving to themselves and this is a level of two souls joining. It became clear why a man works endless hours to create a better smile for that he loves, it became clear why a woman could cut out of her own flesh to draw a smile on her own child’s face. It’s the love of one human willing to dig their own grave to give to that they consider part of them, and once they give them that smile, they will go out there willingly, and happily to do it all over again regardless of the pain they have seen on the journey, for that very smile erases all that soreness they have previously seen. Now this is a level of loyalty that I hope to wake up one morning and find laying down next to me on that very bed, believing that I will not give them any less than that they are eager to give to me, if not more.

Do you blame me for envying Abdu and Miriam? Well how could I feel shame in doing so, when I truly pray to the Lord that one day I will be blessed with a woman that could sacrifice the way Miriam does to her love!!!

 Jeddah - 11/5/2011