"Excuse me for a few moments". I opened the car door and left my family behind; I knew they were unhappy about the inconvenient delay that I was about to cause. The cat was so young, small, skinny and looking for the least to feed on. I ignored it on the way out of the house. Those few moments in the car, awaiting my family to leave the house injected me with guilt and the feeling that I could help a resident of this planet with their pain. It became a habit every now and then to feed that particular cat; I would pick some of my lunch meal leftovers or steal some of my sister's cat food. She has a Persian cat who is so fat and lazy, it reminds me of "Garfield" and in a just world "Wolverine" the cat can share some of its wealth with the poor street cat. The little skinny cat always follows me now, out of everyone else on the street, it recognizes me and sprints to me. On a weird level, I feel happy that it appreciates me and acknowledges what I do.
Yesterday, I went out to wash the car which I'd parked it to the side of the road opposite the house. The little cat went and stood next to a dead pigeon, I don't know if it was trying to bring my attention to it or it just happened that it went and stood there. I am a man who believes in no coincidences. I saw the dead pigeon, I guessed a cat must have brought its life to an end, or the heat must have exhausted its soul. I felt a little sadness in my heart, the kind of sadness that goes away in the matter of moments if not seconds and just avoided looking at the pigeon any further. That evening, as I was on my way to leave the house with my sister, I noticed that another pigeon was standing still under the backside of my car. This was an unusual sight, for it was 10:00 pm at night past a bird's bed time. It was just staring at the dead pigeon. I started the engine and moved that car. My shock became stronger and more apparent. The pigeon didn't move nor acted in any way. Usually those birds fly away if you merely breathed anywhere near them. I felt that I had to do the right thing, to bury the dead pigeon in the empty land close by. In my mind I thought this must be enough to make the pigeon go away and get on with whatever pigeons do in life.
Why would anyone care for the feelings of a pigeon for God's sake? I don't know maybe the sight of the loyalty I saw was stronger than anything I'd witnessed in months! Maybe that I'd never witnessed the sorrow of a non human creation, which fascinated me and also saddened me. Or maybe there is a flow of energy between the Lord's creations, like that you witness in the sun setting into the ocean, or the one you witness in the flow of the river interacting with the wind or the exchange of colors at dawn between that pink touch and the light blue sky as the clouds decorate the scene.
Loyalty is a dangerous concept, one that can be taken into extremes. When that is done it becomes a thick rope that you tighten around your neck. But some things never change on this earth. Sharks will always be dangerous, the moon will always be beautiful, the ocean will always be mysterious and a creature with extreme loyalty will just not know how to be otherwise, for its holder is defined by that characteristic.
An emotion is a standard feeling between all creations. However, it is expressed differently between each individual human, animal, or even nature. I believe the wind's interaction with the desert has something to say, irrational, extreme and sometimes disastrous. Thinking about it, it's very much like human emotions. In the animal kingdom, a Lion has multiple lovers, how different is that to the world we live in? When you start paying attention to your surroundings, you start realizing that we share more characteristics in our behavior with those so called "objects", than we do with some members of our human race. I personally can relate to that pigeon I came across last night more than I can with a large majority in my society. I know I am digging so deep for answers that I must sound like I am losing the last few cells left in my brain, but a man is defined by his madness.
I arrived back home way past midnight that night. I called my sister over; "Lujain, oh my God, it's still there!!!" the pigeon is still standing with its head down not too far from where it was the first time. I have seen hundreds of pigeons around the area, but why is this one still hanging around. It's a healthy pigeon, and its survival instinct knows it must fly away and move on before it is eaten by one of the street cats. Lujain replied "Do you think that the dead pigeon is its lover?" That was exactly my thought. That pigeon stood out from every other pigeon around. I didn't think..I believe I knew exactly that the sorrow it felt was great. I have no evidence, nor justification, but since when are feelings ever supported by logic? Yet again there must be a reason why we both shared the same thought.
Maybe when you lose what you love the most you become vulnerable. A reason to live becomes harder to find, or at least it becomes harder to find a reason to live with joy. Sorrow and pain are part of this life and no matter what happens, time erases nothing for nothing is ever forgotten. You just learn to live with the pain. Maybe that is too much for a little creature to live with and to be eaten by a street cat is a better choice to end its misery!
No matter how sad an ending is, one must admire the beauty of a loyal scene.
Jeddah - 23/11/ 2011
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