Her fight for life - by Lujain Asad

This time i will not be sharing my words, but the words of an amazing person who existed in my life to influence and motivate me. Not only a sister, but a role model, friend and an inspiration. A great example to the deepness and the strength of the free Arabian women, a result of our beautiful deserts, despite her young age, i foresee her bright future upon her destiny. I will speak no more for this time i am here to listen to her perspective. I hope you enjoy it as much as i did: 

Her fight for Life - By Lujain Asad

“Life isn’t fair”. Now that’s a phrase we’ve all heard an infinite number of times. My question is: Is it supposed to be? Allow me to answer this naïve question of mine.It’s not and never will it be; we just fail to accept this disappointing fact constantly.

The sacrifice

As I arrived to my Arabian bride, the city seemed to welcome me with nothing but love, with much for me to look forward to. One could start to notice the differences between the eastern and western life styles almost instantly, even though many chose to be irritated by the differences, I came to enjoy and appreciate each in its own unique colors. Of course my observations and positive criticisms are a different unrelated issue at this point.

It’s a usual scene in this part of the world to see most families are privileged with the support of a driver or a maid. As I got picked up from the airport by the driver and my mother, I was told that the new driver is married to the new maid. This is not a story that I am to tell of myself, but somewhat a story of “Abdu” & “Miriam”. I knew at the point when this news arrived to my ears that I would be fascinated at the shores of the idea, the idea of observing the couple. I was seeking the lesson I have to learn from them with passion. They are an Indonesian partners, in their thirties, like most of us they are seeking a clean living, to make an honest future for those they love, to prosper in their life’s in a prideful manner.

Change

I have sat on that bench for weeks, if not months, as I sipped on my black Americano coffee, no sugar of course. I enjoyed the few strips of sun light as they made their way through those clouds. I sat on that bench in comfort, appraising myself in silence knowing that I was one of the few people who had the motivation and courage to walk out of their comfort zone at home at such an early hour, to enjoy the creation of the creator in quite and peace. As time passed I realized that once you make the decision to join the grater force of nature, it’s a competitive world, as you start to witness the successes of others, which unravels various dimensions of your own capabilities, a world that will keep thriving you for more, which eventually raises the question of what’s the limits?

My choice of power is ...

A few weeks ago, I received an email from a dear reader asking me to write a piece, stating if I had to choose a power, what will it be? For three weeks I have been trying to think of what I shall write, what captivated me the most about my reaction was why did I find this so difficult to answer. So I carried my notepad & pencil and walked down to the river to seek inspiration in attempt to drop a few lines. I went up to the park and sat on the bench with my coffee in silence, as a matter of fact I did that twice. Went to my favorite café, and I just had nothing to say to that notepad as my pencil remained silent in shame.

Forgive me Lord for I have Sinned

It all started in that little room, as I laid on that single bed, many of those evenings I would lay there as I dimmed those lights listening to ‘Um Kalthum’ or ‘Fayrooz’. Closing my eyes sent me back in time to discover their treasures. I wondered about mine for many years, I wished and wished, with thousands of thoughts and voices telling me that reality is bitter, for I shall quit dreaming, so I slipped back into those covers and slept. Every time I attempted courage, the limitations I was told to believe in hammered my legs down, breaking them, talking me back to the bottom, to where I was.

Not today I won’t, that’s what I convinced myself, so I stood and I decided to draw. To draw a painting of that I desire. It’s a blue print. A guide that shall define my purpose. It started with those two perfectly drawn eyebrows, they stood like two crowns above her beautifully fitted eyes. As I stood and watched fear struck my heart, they were strong and inviting. Mysterious yet won my trust. They dared and I accepted. My lust was aroused, I felt my blood rush through my heart, I stood knowing that I was committing the forbidden by going after her. But I went with all my pride. Forgive me Lord for I am about to sin.

Dear sweet betrayal

Dear Betrayal …

I am certain the fact that I am writing to you must be a disappointment within itself, for it can only show that you have yet not hit me hard enough to break me.
The simple truth is that I have known you for a rather long time, years and years has passed by us. You tend to come and visit me through different faces, and the chemistry we have is rather strange to be truthful with you.

What I admire about you is your fascinating determination to come back, and with every visit your style grows impressively. You come back harder and stronger than the previous time, you come with nothing but the determination in your sharpened teeth and curved claws, with a dagger that wants to cut through my flesh like a starving lion in a deserted island in the middle if the ocean. Oh but that doesn’t seem to be enough for you, you have taken the pleasure in training your assassins to attack silently to ensure that the bitter taste is fully satisfied through a stab to the back.

Liberating my freedom

Not long before we started watching those revolutions take place on our TV sets like a drama series with stars, villains and a great story line. A dear friend, actually a brother asked me a question. What’s my opinion on the difference between Freedom and liberty?

At the first glance I admit that I thought a few searches on Google will give me the answer, but then I realized that it wasn’t so simple after all, A huge discussion revolves around the terminology, some state that the two words are originated from two different backgrounds yet hold the same meaning, others take the discussion further. So for weeks I been thinking about it, for to me they never meant the same, but then how better could I see the meaning behind those words unless I looked at our beloved society, for those words are the motive for millions who walked this earth to pay their blood simply to have them exist!

We were all born free of restrictions, yet as we grow day upon a day we are told of our boundaries, what we are expected to do, our limitations, our reality, we are taught how to read, what to learn, how to interpret, what to wear, how to behave and then one day we wake up and some of what we have learned is imprinted into our memories to the extent that we now believe in it. Others will accept what they are taught in a cowardly manner and blame it on respecting others. Then one day we wake up and now we are told who to marry! What is expected from her or him? Wait a minute, really!!! I wasn’t aware that an entire society was going to share my modest bed with us for the next 40 years. But hey what do I know I am being too disrespectful now, and I should behave in better manners.