Change

I have sat on that bench for weeks, if not months, as I sipped on my black Americano coffee, no sugar of course. I enjoyed the few strips of sun light as they made their way through those clouds. I sat on that bench in comfort, appraising myself in silence knowing that I was one of the few people who had the motivation and courage to walk out of their comfort zone at home at such an early hour, to enjoy the creation of the creator in quite and peace. As time passed I realized that once you make the decision to join the grater force of nature, it’s a competitive world, as you start to witness the successes of others, which unravels various dimensions of your own capabilities, a world that will keep thriving you for more, which eventually raises the question of what’s the limits?

I eventually realized that the beauty of my river bought me no peace, but rather started to create what I could only describe as a chain of reactions which I have never experienced. I started to interrogate my self, as I sat on my bench I saw those people jog, I watched their every move, I knew I envied them. Beautiful they looked in their shorts, running trainers, shirts, with their headphones, as their sweat fell across their faces. Many times I wondered what it is they were thinking during their journeys, to me it looked like all their fears and worries were washed out of their systems with every drop of sweat. Of course it was just an assumption to me. I never dared to join their efforts; it wasn’t because I was neither lazy nor scared. But rather I had an excuse that I used; I knew my flat feat meant that the strings of my muscles between my knees and feet were stretched further than the average man or woman. I was thankful that it had no implications on my walking but doctors told me at a young age that I will never be able to do excessive running or sport. As days passed, those thoughts in my brain became more aggressive, and day by day I realized I was getting further away from that peace and quite that I once hunted, that I stopped noticing the existence of that river with its beautiful seven bridges, and the one remaining fact was that I still sat sipping that very same coffee, on that wooden bench, and believe you me, I sat long enough on that very bench, that eventually I felt that I became part of it, and no different to its purpose of existence in that particular scene of nature.

The next morning I woke up, and as I opened my eyes the words of my father that he has once told me ten years prior to this story struck my head, “It takes a man a fraction of a second to change the direction of his entire life, that fraction of a second holds a decision that will make him everything he wants to become, or remains him as everything he doesn’t want to be”. I jumped out of bed under the wings of those words, got changed, and I decided not to think of my limitations, I realized that even though it was a small ambition, it imprisoned me on many levels. I jogged to that river, and I decided to become more than that bench on that morning. As I jogged I felt my heart pump harder than ever due to my lack of fitness, I felt happy to meet that pain for it held my success, the journey took ten endless minutes, towards the end of it I still recall my rocky mistake of speeding to much, yet I felt the wind flirt with every part of my body, as my eyes blushed in shyness. Suddenly I rediscovered that river again unlocking its beauty, I saw every single one of those seven bridges, I saw buildings across the other side that I never knew existed, I started a journey of discovery, I started to think of my life from a knew dimension, and somewhere through the loud music on my headphones, the pain in my chest, my sweat and heavy breathings I finally found joy and peace.

The point I am trying to make here is that some of our visions are small in appearance, but you would be shocked to the massive affect they have on you once you break them free, and once your free you will be surprised to see the massive affect that you have on your surroundings.

Find those little things that you would love to change in your life, through them you create enormous realities that you never imagined in your wildest dream. Stay still like the wooden bench and be part of that beautiful yet still picture, or start jogging till you learn how to run with the wind believing that you have no limitations, the choice is yours. But I can assure you that in the same way you could become part that wooden bench, if you run for long enough with the wind, eventually it welcomes you to its tribe, adopting its strength, beautiful flow and endless possibilities.
 Newcastle - 7/4/2011

2 comments:

  1. Love parents wisdom!
    This essay gave me a jolt of energy.. WOW!!
    I have been wanting to do something similar for weeks now and have been postponing it out of fear and anxiety..
    Sooooooo ~ seriously thinking about it..
    Nyways ..
    Appreciate your personal essays and reflection.. I also think u have a wee bit of humor in your thoughts - i find that amuzing!
    S.

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  2. Thanks again S. please do let me know if you went through with it, and how it felt. :)

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