Undressing my Bride

The beauty of love, or it maybe the weakness of it as some may perceive it, is that we perfect that we long for. We draw them with a beautiful brush in the brightest colors. We make them into what they are through our own eyes which reflects what the heart feels, and in return they do the same to us. Where is the logic? Well let me just say that the heart has its own logic which I personally fail to explain nor care to understand. Being away from what you love allows you to make them into a great creation. Now saying that doesn’t mean you have overvalued them, to the contrary it means you were able to discover something that no one else discovered, or maybe not many people will ever discover.

I hear many say that love is blinding, I tend to disagree, it’s actually obvious to the average intelligent human where the faults are, however the matter of fact is we make a choice to ignore what the faults are and overwhelm our selves with the inner beauty we see.

Living away from the place I love has meant I saw many other beautiful places. I have seen cities and societies that I desired; my heart has wished for them to be my own, physically aroused and astonished me by their glamour, intelligence and order. But never was I tempted to make them my own. Maybe it’s my loyalty to the one I loved, maybe it’s my ‘blindness’ or as I would believe it’s the choice I made. See no matter how impressed I am with the others, with the rivers, the mountains, the cleanness and the passion they have. The image of my tanned beauty always came to mind, with no second thoughts, I always looked forward to the day I lay beside her and in her arms.

As I went to visit her recently, spending many days with her. I started to undress her slowly with passion. And the more I saw of her the more I got deceived by my own previous visions. Now what I couldn’t understand is why it is the more I tend to give her, the more I get rejected?

What would a man do when that he loves is not as welcoming as he would have demanded? Do I walk away from it, and fall for the temptation of that who is prettier and most certainly much more welcoming? Here I am left with another choice, a choice that will be yet another turning point in my life.

We fall in love for the silliest reasons, the things that even we think they never mattered. Maybe it’s the voice of the Athan, maybe it’s the voice of my sisters waking me up in the most inconvenient times to drop them to the most inconvenient places, the prayers of my mother asking the Lord to bless me, the orders of my father to accomplish an undesired task, maybe it’s the argument I have with the police officer over an undeserved ticket, maybe it’s the humid hot whether, the thought of the two holy lands being by my side, the fact the I can go to Al-Baik and get my favorite shrimp meal, the useless walk in the mall as all stare at you like an alien or maybe, just maybe the useless endless drive on the Sea side with my male friends as I drink my Barnies coffee. Honestly I don’t know, though I am sure that the biggest reason is that I know I can give her what she deserves, and I shall give her what she deserves. I know her value, even if the world don’t understand how to appreciate her the way I do.

So here you are my bride, I make the choice to love you, and I will love you with all the consequences I choose to face, so as I undress you I will choose to see nothing but your beauty, I will choose to embrace your faults and I will choose to develop you and evolve with you. Because love is never perfect, but a process to perfection.

Before I end this, I would like to remind my self that how you view the world is a choice, and no one describes that choice better than the Arab poet ‘Ellia Abu-Mady’ as he writes the following poem, as a conversation takes place between two men:

قال السماء كئيبة وتجهما ... قلت ابتسم يكفي التجهم في السماء
قال الصبا ولى فقلتله ابتسم... لن يرجع الأسف الصبا المتصرما
قال التي كانت سمائي في الهوا ... صارت لنفسي في الغرام جهنما
خانت عهودي ما ملكتها قلبي ... فكيف أطيق أن أتبسما
قلت ابتسم فلو قارنتها ...لقضيت عمرك كله متألما

قلت ابتسم يكفيك أنك لم تزل ...حيا ولست من الأحبة معدما
قال اليالي جرعتني علقما ...قلت ابتسم ولئن جرعت العلقما
فلعل غيرك ان رآك مرنما ... طرح الكآبة جانبا وترنما

16/12/2010 - UK